When they say “I can’t afford it.”

The more I travel this path, the more one thing becomes clear:

You (yah, you reading this) are a powerful badass with the ability to make a real difference.

But as I talk with business owners, they often share with me that they are having trouble attracting clients who pay them well.

“I’d do what I do for free on the street corner,” one of my VIP day clients recently told me.

She loves what she does that much.

But in declaring that… that’s what has been happening to her.

People won’t pay her.

She’s been willing to do what she does for free.

So that’s the going rate for her services.

Cheap.

Free.

Barter.

(“Let’s trade for this. It’s more fun and genuine than using what everyone else in the economy agrees on as legal tender. We’re better than that.”)

Am I pissing you off right now?

Good. Because you probably aren’t making enough money in your business, and you need an intervention before anything is going to change.

MANY of the business owners I talk to are in this spot. And they don’t like it. It doesn’t feel good to talk to people about working with you, and have them say “I can’t afford it.” Many of you read that like rejection. Full stop. Game over. Might as well hole up under the covers where it’s safe.

Honeybuns, this being alive isn’t supposed to be safe. It’s a daring adventure… and that means there are risks!

I have another client that I’m writing a website for. She told me that there were 3 groups of people she was working with – loved them all.

I shared with her that she could keep all those target markets, but as her copywriter, that makes it really hard for me to connect with any one of them.

Because language is a tribal thing.

Corporate executives and herbalists may both speak English, but it’s a different dialect.

So, while she likes working with corporate men, stay at home moms, and professional women seeking love… her copy is going to be weak and generic if she insists on trying to market to all of them.

“Is there any one of those groups that you can let go of?” I asked.

“And let’s be clear. That doesn’t mean you don’t love them,” I added.

This is about bless and release.

Not about rejection.

But many of you are so bound up in a story about what “letting go” of your less-than-ideal clients mean… about what asking for actual money for your skills, talents + gifts means… that you are caught between a rock and a hard place.

Look, I get that. I spent more than 10 years of my life cooking in soup kitchens, sleeping in a gym on a mat so that homeless kids had a safe place to shower and spend the night, and working with at-risk teenagers.

Money wasn’t my thing, either.

But one of the reasons I started my business – and the thing that fuels me – is that I can do WAY more to serve low income people and at risk youth as a business owner who has money (and friends with money), than I did as a volunteer.

My friend Elissa, who’s a social worker, tells the story of a village. And in the village, there’s a river. As the women go to the river to wash clothes, they notice that there are baskets floating down the river. And there are babies in the baskets!

When they realize this, the women wade out into the river to get the baskets and pull them onshore.

But it keeps happening. More and more baskets keep floating down the river.

So the women just keep going – catching the baskets and pulling them out of the river and onto shore.

And then one woman starts making moves to get out of the river.

The other women look at her, like “what are you, crazy?! There are babies to save!”

And she tells them: “I’m going to go upriver, to see why babies are being put in the river in the first place.”

I’m clear that this is what many people are doing in their businesses. They see a need. They want to help. So they stay in the river, pulling the baskets out of the water.

And no doubt about it, the world needs that.

But the world also needs women (and men) who take a different path. Who decide to get out of the water, and go up river to see what they can do to make a difference at the source of the issue.

I tell you this because when you are hearing “I can’t afford it” — it is a message. It may be a message that you need to work on your sales skills. But I invite you to hear a deeper message – that you may be “in the river”… working very hard to “save” people. And that won’t have you making the difference you want to make in the world.

Because you’re not being paid. Or not being paid well. And you see the need, so you don’t feel like you can turn your backs on these people.

But maybe… it’s just a bless and release. Maybe it’s realizing that there are people in your business who will NEVER pay you well. And often, those are the people who don’t follow through and do the work, either.

Maybe it’s just telling yourself the truth – that you can’t keep working with people who don’t have the money… even if you see they need the help — because you’re running a business, not a social service agency. And the only one with the power to change the clients you are attracting into your business… is you.

Mighty thanks to Moyan Brenn flickr photostream for the river.

P.S. This is one of the things I help people do in a VIP Day - attract clients that really value what you do — and are willing to pay for it – and bless + release the folks who aren’t such great clients for you anymore. If you’re interested, let’s talk. There are 9 spots left this year, and we’re doing a summer special of $500 off in July and August.